I've bounced between wanting to make fried pickles, wondering when to start the new book I bought, when will I finish my chapter, what should happen next in my chapter (including running dialogue in my head), should I go watch a movie to calm down, what kind of movie, what's happening at my old job, missing the security of having a place to go to in the morning even though the last few months there were painful, why was it painful, what am I going to wear to the concert on Thursday, what time should I meet my friend, should I bring a purse, I have to pick up flour tomorrow, what should I bake, should I bake, what is this constant buzzing going on under the mattress, should I bring anything to the bar tomorrow....?
If you kept up with any of that, congrats you're just as fucking crazy as I am.
It's only been two hours and ten minutes since I've laid my head down.
I also started reading blogs about getting an agent. Granted I have to have something finished but every once in a while I get ahead of myself. So now I have the fear of not finding one or if I do not being very successful.
I don't want to be famous folks but I do want to be moderately successful so that I can continue to write and have people enjoy what I write. To quote Kate Earl from her song "All I want"
If I could touch one lonely soul
If I could heal and be so bold
To be a spark to be a light
Set one heart on fire
That’s all I ever wanted
That’s all I want
That’s all I ever really wanted
Now, before I bring up any more to think about; let me stop.
Oh, I also have a guitar.