Monday, December 7, 2009

Open Letter to U2

Dear Bono & U2 -

Hi guys, just wanted to drop a line and see how you're doing. How's the fund-raising for Africa and AIDS and all that? Hope it's going well. I debated spending a lot of money on a poor quality GAP Red shirt and then quickly thought against it. How about we buy a shirt that is good quality and the proceeds and the shirt go to those in need? I'm sure Americans don't really need flannel/polo/wool/mock turtleneck shirt.

Anyhoo, this is besides the point. I actually applaud that you are trying to do good in the world. In fact, you may just want to focus on that.

I hate to break this to you .... and don't take this the wrong way ... but lately, your music? Well, it's been ... how do you say .... uninspiring, boring and very very amateur-ish.

Let's just take for example, Sunday Bloody Sunday from War. I know that this may not be that fair but this is an example of your songwriting skills at it's best!

Broken bottles under children's feet
Bodies strewn across the dead-end street
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up, puts my back up against the wall...


I know you were singing about Bloody Sunday in Northern Ireland and your music was a little more Irish political but JMJ! Those are some great lyrics, the imagery and the tone just....wow. It wasn't a hit for nothing guys!

Now, I'm going to compare it to a recent song off of your last album. I hate to admit it but I have no idea what the title of the album is or when it came out. You've disillusioned me boys. However, I've heard a new song from Absolute Radio and shook my head. This is from No Line on the Horizon- the song is I'll Go Crazy if I Don't Go Crazy Tonight.

It's not a hill, it's a mountain
As you start out the climb
Do you believe me, or are you doubting
We're gonna make it all the way to the light
But I know I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight

Um, what?

I'm not even sure that I know what that means. Why are you going crazy? Why do you need to go crazy? What light are you heading towards? I mean, you don't have to listen to me, but I don't think that's a good idea. All of the horror movies I've ever seen say specifically to step away from the light.

But hey, you're crazy or something - right?

Just...just do me a favor. Take a break to reevaluate or how about this - use your powers for good. Save a manatee, save a cookie, save a cowboy...just please stop using your waning songwriting skills...it hurts. It just hurts too goddamn much.


A flustered fan


  1. It's a dry spell. You understand that don't you?
    Can't be on all the time. Now Hootie and the Blowfish, there's a group...

  2. Ouch...did you just utter Hootie and U2 in one sentence. Ack! I believe I just dry heaved.