Monday, December 8, 2008

Just Plum Crazy

I have a slight love of the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. I love the wit, the sometimes slapstick humor, the romatic confusion, the humanity, the depravity and most of all I love that Stephanie Plum - Bounty Hunter- is a survivor.

These books can actually become an addiction, in fact I need to buy them in pairs because I know that I'll read one book in about a day, possibly two if I'm busy. There are fourteen books thus far- not including holiday novellas- and I've read up to numero nueve.

I'm a fan.

I love her family because they make my family just look marginally saner...but only marginally because frankly we have more tragedy than comedy in my family, but hey - who's keeping score?

Cousin Vincent (cousin Vinnie - get it? huh, huh) is a perverted sex-crazed bond agent who is blackmailed into giving Steph a job after she is laid off from a lingerie job. When you think of Vinnie you should always start the sentence off with "What will Vinnie have sex with...?" Think, ducks, midgets, women and quite possibly inanimate objects.

Grandma Mazur is a sex-crazed octogenarian with a creepy obsession with wakes and viewings, Mom Plum is a housewife slowly becoming strangled by her life and thus seeks a life outside of the crazy house and she bakes, cooks and serves up a mean slice of guilt. Sister Valerie is perfect until her husband cheats on her and she moves back in with her mother with her two kids, one perfect, one who thinks she's a horse and then ends up going through a series of life changes that are nothing short of hilarious.

Dad Plum is the only sane one.

So, now we have her friends. Lula is an ex-prostitute that you meet in the first book and who ends up being a pawn in a game against Steph. It's Stephanie who finds Lula beat up and bloodied on her fire escape after she's been raped and abused. It's Stephanie who Lula latches onto and becomes her sometimes partner and mostly her partner-in-crime. She's large, in charge and a black woman who loves to experiment with colors, meat and men.

Connie is the receptionist, office manager, take charge woman at the bond agency. She's got huge boobs, even bigger hair and a mustache that would make my Italian great-grandmother proud. Like everyone and their mother = she shoots.

There are a slew of other associates Steph meets through her travels as a bounty hunter. A cross-dressing rockstar, a stoner thief, an ex-female wrestler and the female equivalent of Ranger.

Ranger? ! Who?

Think cafe au lait skin, dark smoldering eyes, soft lips, a body to die for (and possibly be killed by) and a sense of humor that is both dry and deadly. He is intelligent, clever, sneaky, overprotective and has a nice ass. He loves Stephanie...but not in the same way Morelli does. In fact, as he said. "There are different kinds of love,babe." He's the chocolate cake in your fat diet. You don't regret it until you've snarfed about eight of them down...but oh, it feels amazing going in (pun quite intended).

Now, I have to admit I'm biased on this next description. I love Joe Morelli. He's your typical guy, I'll admit that. He doesn't have the same mysteriousness of Ranger, he can be a bit of a commitphobe but he's also Sexy as Hell, a walking wet-dream apparently, he's also protective of Steph but I think he's slowly starting to realize that the love of his life *not something he's sad so much as I've read into this* is not only a trouble magnet but also most likely to stay that way for awhile. As he said to her in book five:
"I used to ask myself how it is you got yourself involved in things like this, now I come to expect it of you".

While he's the safer bet as compared to Ranger, he is also the one who takes care of Steph, rushes to her side when she's hurt or even when he just hears her name on the police scanner. They've known each other since they were six, he's got custody of their dog and while he thinks the Plum family is beyond any sort of mental help - he still goes to dinners. He can be sweet and stubborn, loving but selfish but above all - I'd be willing to bet he'd die to protect Steph. He's her knight in shining gray armor while Ranger is a ninja.

I know I'm leaving out her arch-enemy Joyce and her bastard ex-husband Dickie but they're much better to read about anyway. Sort of.

Anyway, great read, very entertaining but the one thing that I have a complaint about is that Steph still hasn't truly made her mind up about her men. Not that I expect her to but her heart seems to belong to Joe while her libido belongs to both. Which can be a problem.

Oh Janet Evanovich, can't we please fix this issue? Maybe have Valerie fall for Ranger? Doesn't he have a soft-spot for kids?

Mood: Photobucket - Tired

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